all i want for christmas is a new house:
- somewhere quiet and nice.
- with electricity, gas, water.
- a shiny number on the front door.
- ivy growing on the front.
- a good sofa.
- a good bed.- tv isn’t necessary, a phone line and internet would be nice, and mobile signal in the area.
- a garden for the cats and kids.
- somewhere to put nice pictures on the wall.

thank you.

i took this photo in the toilets at university.
when you take innocent pictures in toilets you pray someone doesn’t walk in and see you taking photos and think ‘what the heck?’
but no one walked in and i got a nice photo of this subtle, solid, purple knob.

bill.
shut.
bull.
shit.

the roots are planted.
now we watch it flourish.

dog: “i’ve had it with this shit.”

i love the way you kiss my neck. ♥

blue lagoon.
how are you?
i hope you are happy.
i most certainly am.
do not let the lemon in you make you sour.
all is brilliant.

on television there are
shows which makeover your home, face, look, car, whatever.
these shows should all be combined into
one television channel which no one would watch.
pimp my life.
it would be something like the truman show,
only with more subwoofers in your kneecaps.

i think on trains
that they should make
a special place
to put your paper
once you’re done.

a bird in the bush is worth two in the hand, yet you can kill two birds with one stone.
if i have two hands, one bush and one stone, how many birds do i have?